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| It's a LOOOOONG uphill road.... |
Have you ever wanted something SO badly...
you could almost taste it???
That's where I am this week.
I am SO ready to wake up, look in the mirror and think, "WOW!!! I have really lost a ton of weight!!"..... After doing this difficult life change for over a month now, it has finally occurred to me that......
...this is a LONG UPHILL battle I am fighting...
It is going to take a verrrrrrry long time to reach to my weight loss goal.
Of course, there is a bright light on the other side of the hill, but, I have only just begun my ascent......
Not to discount how much weight I have already lost. I'm proud to know that I have begun the process, but, find myself getting frustrated because, "my levi's aren't baggy yet"... "my shade shirts aren't falling off my shoulders" ... "my face is still round with the ever slight hint of a double chin".... ugh...
I cannot help but think of the little engine that could, chugging with all of his might up that horribly, steep hill...
"I think I can, I think I can, I think I can"........
Weight Lost this week (4 weeks 2 days into journey) 4.0 pounds
TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS: "30" pounds
Weight to lose til goal: 96.5 pounds
Here's What... Met with the doctor today. Although he is proud of my weight loss he is forcing me to plataeu for "THREE STRAIGHT WEEKS"!!! UGH!!!!!! He does not want me to lose MORE then TWO pounds over next three weeks, to force my body into a new set point for weight. SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED!!! I am SO ready to get this fat off of my body...... a forced plateau?? ever heard of that?? I want to rebel and keep losing.......... but he sent me home with an entirely new diet of things to eat for the next 21 days.... to maintain... totally depleted and depressed... I want this weight off of me yesterday! :-(
Week in review:
1. Annie opens Friday night at Bountiful High. (and you better all be there!! 7:00) The dog who plays "sandy" in our play "DIED" on Friday last week... We attempted to use my high strung, neurotic dog this week, but, to no avail... She is nutso... We have no choice but to use a human dressed as a dog... WHAT THE??? not happy. Cast is doing great, but, spring break took a TON of our kids away from three much needed rehearsals... We still need props... We need more parents to volutneer backstage... blah blah blah... the musical is stressful...
2. On a personal note.. My very good friend was sentenced on Wednesday last week to one year in prison for a horrific crime. love the man, hate the crime? Isn't that what they say?? ugh.. Always in the back of my mind..... I am reminded of this crappy event every day when I walk into the drama room that he and I made a home for hundreds of students...
3. During the past two weeks, I have been at rehearsal, which means Izee is a mere figment of my imagination... I think I remember having a 4 year old?? Or was I dreaming?? She is in desparate need of her momma's love and time...... (one more week. one more week).
As like everyone reading this, our lives are filled with "stress"!!! I used to eat crappy food to make myself feel better, but, I can't do that anymore.. I struggle to find something else to do to relieve the tension!!! Especially since I can't exercise yet, (another doctors order), so.... I wait... and I "think" about eating when I'm stressed out... (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!!!!)
Weekly Cravings: (or should I say, "foods I shouldn't have eaten this week, but did) within 10 minutes on Friday night, I ate a doughnut, left over beans and chicken stir fry from panda and 12 potato chips with dip. I tasted DELISH however, 3 1/2 hours later I was hunched over in the fetal position crying in pain. My body has rid itself of all the crappy toxins and yucky stuff, I think I confused it when I ate junk food. Who would have thunk that I wouldn't be used to eating crap!!?? Honestly, it isn't worth cheating.... if the result of consuming junk food is 2-3 hours in horrific abdominal pain, I would just assume eat healthy!!! GRRR!! who am I?
MY JOURNEY CONTINUES!!! (or should I say, my journey takes a three week hiatus?? ugh)
TOTAL WEIGHT LOSS: "30" pounds
Weight to lose til goal: 96.5 pounds
Here's What... Met with the doctor today. Although he is proud of my weight loss he is forcing me to plataeu for "THREE STRAIGHT WEEKS"!!! UGH!!!!!! He does not want me to lose MORE then TWO pounds over next three weeks, to force my body into a new set point for weight. SO FREAKING FRUSTRATED!!! I am SO ready to get this fat off of my body...... a forced plateau?? ever heard of that?? I want to rebel and keep losing.......... but he sent me home with an entirely new diet of things to eat for the next 21 days.... to maintain... totally depleted and depressed... I want this weight off of me yesterday! :-(
Week in review:
1. Annie opens Friday night at Bountiful High. (and you better all be there!! 7:00) The dog who plays "sandy" in our play "DIED" on Friday last week... We attempted to use my high strung, neurotic dog this week, but, to no avail... She is nutso... We have no choice but to use a human dressed as a dog... WHAT THE??? not happy. Cast is doing great, but, spring break took a TON of our kids away from three much needed rehearsals... We still need props... We need more parents to volutneer backstage... blah blah blah... the musical is stressful...
2. On a personal note.. My very good friend was sentenced on Wednesday last week to one year in prison for a horrific crime. love the man, hate the crime? Isn't that what they say?? ugh.. Always in the back of my mind..... I am reminded of this crappy event every day when I walk into the drama room that he and I made a home for hundreds of students...
3. During the past two weeks, I have been at rehearsal, which means Izee is a mere figment of my imagination... I think I remember having a 4 year old?? Or was I dreaming?? She is in desparate need of her momma's love and time...... (one more week. one more week).
As like everyone reading this, our lives are filled with "stress"!!! I used to eat crappy food to make myself feel better, but, I can't do that anymore.. I struggle to find something else to do to relieve the tension!!! Especially since I can't exercise yet, (another doctors order), so.... I wait... and I "think" about eating when I'm stressed out... (I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!!!!)
Weekly Cravings: (or should I say, "foods I shouldn't have eaten this week, but did) within 10 minutes on Friday night, I ate a doughnut, left over beans and chicken stir fry from panda and 12 potato chips with dip. I tasted DELISH however, 3 1/2 hours later I was hunched over in the fetal position crying in pain. My body has rid itself of all the crappy toxins and yucky stuff, I think I confused it when I ate junk food. Who would have thunk that I wouldn't be used to eating crap!!?? Honestly, it isn't worth cheating.... if the result of consuming junk food is 2-3 hours in horrific abdominal pain, I would just assume eat healthy!!! GRRR!! who am I?
MY JOURNEY CONTINUES!!! (or should I say, my journey takes a three week hiatus?? ugh)
A forced plataeu? That totally sucks! I'm sorry! But I guess dr knows best huh? Still sucks to hear. But Jules, you're still doing amazing! I can't believe you've lost 30 pounds in a month! That's unreal! Keep a chuggin' girlfriend...you'll be there before you know it! Jake feels the same way...if he looks at his weight loss as he still needs to lose 60 pounds, he gets discouraged so he does it in 10 pound increments. He keeps saying "10 lbs til my goal" and it seems more bearable. Then when he hits the 10 pounds, he starts over with another 10. Anyway, love ya, and you're amazing and an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteJewels you are such a strong woman you can do this!!! Good luck with everything and just remember YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
ReplyDeleteHave I told you lately how much I love you and how amazing you are? I mean seriously... is there anything you can't do? NO! You are incredible! I know you can do this. I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!
ReplyDeleteYou are totally kicking butt! I am so proud of you! Way to go and I love your updates! I know you can do this and I can't wait till we can start our walking! Love yo utons!
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